


Five Stones

by Eastling (Annwyd)



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 09:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6189967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annwyd/pseuds/Eastling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon his summoning, the Archer who was once King David of Israel seeks out female companionship, as he usually does. His misadventures are chronicled within.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Stones

_one_  
The moment David sets eyes on the Master who summoned him, he speaks. It wouldn't do for a king to be shy. He introduces himself, and he does his best to strike up a conversation.

His Master is a woman, after all, and he knows his own weaknesses.

"By the way, was this prophesied?" he asks her.

"What are you talking about?" she says, which is a good sign. She's already confused and exasperated by him, which means it'll be all the more rewarding when he wins her over.

"The arrival of an ancient hero-king who would save your cause," he explains. "In my day, such things were prophesied. I may also be your next husband, and in your position that's important as well."

"Wouldn't it be better to prophesize about Mashu?" Gudako says. "She's an all-new kind of Servant, after all."

Watching from the side, Mashu blushes.

David sighs. "I may be outclassed...your charm with women is impressive, Master."

"I see," Gudako says, although it seems more like she doesn't.

"In fact, I may even take you on as my apprentice in womanizing," he adds. "Wait, should I put it that way? Let's call it 'charisma.'"

"That seems dishonest," Gudako says, doubtfully.

"A piercing observation, almost as if you were an Archer yourself!" David claps his hands together, ignoring Mashu's frown. "Speaking of my class, did you know, Master? I always aim with five stones. The first one may have missed today--but one of them will certainly hit." He smiles broadly. "I look forward to meeting the rest of your Servants. I am sure they are beautiful."

_two_  
He finds the most beautiful Saber he has ever seen in Chaldea's gym, quietly and vigorously training with swords. She has no need to train; she fights more like a god or a machine than a human hero. Perhaps that's part of what makes her so beautiful. Or perhaps it's just that she's the first female Saber he's seen.

"What good fortune for me to find you here," David tells her as he approaches. "I see you're dressed as brides do these days." He's pleased that for once the new information his summoning gives him about things like that is useful. Who would have imagined that women now wear white lace to be married? "In that case, I've come to bring you a husband!"

The woman stops her movements and looks at him with blank eyes. "A husband...?"

He's not sure whether she's disbelieving him or interested in hearing more. To be honest, the former is more likely, but he's always been a gambling man when it comes to women, so he bets on the latter and continues. "A king for a husband, you're a lucky lady! It's me, of course. It's me."

"I see," she says. "In that case, would you mind if I sent our children to war and razed our small and quiet home to the ground in battle?"

"Um," David says, slightly unbalanced by the question. "Well, we're Servants, so we probably can't have children. What's your name?"

"I...enjoy it when my Master calls me Altera," she says, "but you should continue to call me Attila. It suits our relationship better."

He feels the opportunity sliding out of his clever fingers. "Our relationship? I can't think about long-term plans like that when I'm being lost in your beautiful soulless eyes!"

She nods. "Then I won't look at you," she suggests politely, and then she returns to her training.

_three_  
He does his research this time. When he first sees the beautiful Rider scolding their Master as if she were an errant younger sister, he makes a point of finding out who she is before he talks to her. This one is Martha--a saintly woman. That's good--it means they have something in common. They are both heroes of great virtue, even if his virtue is perhaps a little more strained than hers.

He approaches her later, fully prepared. "To think I've been looking for a saint and I've missed you for this long," he says to her.

Her reaction is perfect: she straightens up a little, her eyes widening, and she takes a deep breath as if to prepare herself. "You've found the right holy woman," she says. "Ah, that is to say, you've encountered the correct maiden of the Lord. I can and will tend to my duties as saint, even here!"

"Then will you help your king?" David reaches out in supplication. "I've been having pains, and as a fellow holy man I know a bit about saints--they're said to be able to cure ailments with their bodies. As a king, I know all about that."

"A king and a holy man?" She looks at him curiously. "I have only one King myself, but do tell me about you."

"Why, you'll understand in a moment," he says, "when I tell you that I am King David of Israel, in search of a new wife."

He thought her reaction before was perfect, but this one is even better. She claps her hands excitedly and blushes furiously. "Oh! You're the King of Israel and the ancestor of my Messiah! I'm, I'm so excited--I mean! I would be greatly honored to help you!"

David allows himself a moment to simply smile sunnily at her. It seems his research before the fact paid off in this case. "Then--"

But she continues before he can say more. "As my Messiah's forebear, you're like a kindly uncle to me! I will most certainly pray for your recovery!"

"Oh," he says. "But you could--"

She's too excited to stop now. "Yes! Yes, I will do just that! Perhaps I can start a prayer group for King David's suffering! Tell me, where are your pains? They're not anywhere uncouth, are they? As a saint, I can't use certain words..."

With a sigh, David accepts defeat. "I think," he says, "I've been healed just by talking to you, Martha. Your energy is truly boundless and admirable."

Her squeal of delight sounds something like an attack.

_four_  
It's not that he's desperate by the time he approaches the sinister-looking Assassin in a mask. It's just that he quite reasonably decides that despite how scary some people might find her, she's actually quite attractive, so it makes sense for him to introduce himself to her.

"I'm David, King of Israel, slayer of Goliath," he tells her. "You're very fortunate to meet me, a true king!"

She stares at him dispassionately. "Call me Carmilla."

That doesn't give him a lot to work with, but he tries anyway. "Have you ever wondered what sort of man could take off that mask of yours?"

"No," she says. "I have no interest in men taking off my mask. A young woman, perhaps, as I am draining her of blood...she might see my face in her last terrified moments."

David considers whether to run away, but decides he's far too brave for that. "In that case, I would never dream of asking you to take it off! After all, I don't need to touch your face. Your delicate hands are a different story."

"Oh, are you going to continue to be like this?" Her expression hasn't changed. "Perhaps some time in my Phantom Maiden would calm you down."

"I do enjoy being inside maidens," David agrees. But something seems off about that. He consults the information his summoning has given him. "Wait, it's a torture device?!"

"Consider leaving me alone," Carmilla says.

He decides he isn't actually brave enough to defy her.

_five_  
"There's no reason for a hero-king like myself to give up after a handful of defeats," David murmurs to himself as he sits with his harp, but all the same, the song he plays is a sad one. The strains of music drift down the hall in their melancholy way.

That's when a woman sits down next to him--another Servant, a Lancer, her spear at her side. She looks at him with sorrowful but earnest eyes. "What a beautiful song," she says. "The sadness in it draws me."

He almost isn't thinking of victory anymore at this point, but still, she _is_ pretty, and he loses nothing by being charming to her. "Oh, is it sad? I was only playing it because it mentions me. 'David played and it pleased the Lord.' I'm still inspiring musicians even in this day and age, isn't that something?"

She smiles faintly at him. "That is...a nice fate," she agrees. "To inspire throughout the ages. To leave a legacy of art and life, and not death."

"We all have such a fate, as heroes," he says. "Especially a beautiful one like you."

She blushes a little. "You shouldn't compliment me so...just call me Brynhildr."

"In that case, Brynhildr," he says, "would you like to hear more of my songs? Perhaps we should go somewhere quieter, with better acoustics."

"I see," she says, a little uncertain, "is that all right? I suppose there's time between battles. Our Master is kind to us and gives us free time, after all."

He strokes the strings of the harp again. "Then let's go!" He doesn't allow himself too long to exult in his triumph. It was always going to be this way, after all--he may miss with four stones, but he succeeds with the fifth. "I'll lead the way--" And he stands.

She starts to stand as well, grasping her spear. Its pointed head seems somehow larger and sharper than before.

Heroic spirits probably aren't supposed to trip and fall. Nevertheless, in his excitement, David stumbles.

The spear comes right for him.

"Oh, _no_ ," Brynhildr says.

_epilogue_  
"Didn't I just summon you?" Gudako asks. "How did you get hurt so badly that you disappeared right here in Chaldea?"

"It seems I am cursed to have a troubled fate," David says. "But at least I get to see so many beautiful faces here."

In the end, he concludes, it really could be worse.


End file.
